Sunday, August 29, 2010
Journal #1 countinued
After I wrote my first entry, I went to bed and laid there rethinking the memory that I just wrote about. I realized that I had left out so many big details that outlined the whole story. Its funny to me because after thinking about it so much, I went and looked at all the hundreds of pictures that I had took on that trip. I really DID have friends and people to fill my time with, but i think it was just the fact that I was so far away from home that it felt like I was completely alone. I made it sound as if I had no one, but I clearly I did because all my pictures were filled with many of the friends I met along the way. Also another big part I left out was when I was standing outside of the terminal at LAX airport balling my eyes out hugging my parents goodbye knowing that I had this journey to face on my own. This was so important because I didn't want to let go of them and almost changed my mind about the whole trip! Looking back at all of this, I am SO unbelievably happy that I ended up making the decision to go on this trip because I went from super insecure to a very strong person. I noticed a HUGE change in myself. Now, when I'm either with my family or taking a trip by myself, I feel confident in what I am doing and I even turn into the role of a leader instead of the daughter that tags along in the back.
Unit 1 Journal #1
I will never forget sitting at a local sandwich place, Corner Bakery, when my mom brought up the question of where I wanted to go this summer by myself. I was so confused and lost on what she was talking about, but then she explained what she meant. Knowing the love that I have for Europe, my mom explained how I deserved to spend a summer there by myself to study abroad and gain independence for myself. After having a long, hard year dealing with a car accident, friends, and school issues, she felt like it was necessary for me to do something for me that would make me happy since I did deserve it! :) She listed a bunch of places all over the world that I could go, but since I would be by myself, I didn't want to go a place where it would be really hard for me to get around.
After thinking about it for a long time, I chose to study abroad at Oxford University in England. I had only be to London once before when I was a little girl and I will never forget standing in the middle of a giant park telling myself " I am going to live here one day". And for some reason when I was staring at the list of options that I had, that memory came back to me so clear and I said to my mom "I'm going to England".
When It came time, I remember walking through the airport, lost and confused, searching for signs and directions that would make sense to me. It was the first 30 minutes of being there and I was already so nervous and scared! I realized right then that I couldn't just reach for my phone and dial my mom for that comforting voice on the other end, and that I was left there alone to figure out everything by myself. After being there for a while, I didn't have many friends and I had no idea where I was going half the time, but the thing is.. I didn't mind it at all. You get used to being by yourself and handling things on your own, and its a tough habit to break, but it actually felt good to not have to lean on anyone else but to yet trust your own self.
It was different in High school. Always having the feeling where you had a friend to walk you to class or always having a plan on a Friday night. But the thing is, it finally felt okay to be alone there. And I think it was because I was in a different country where I knew no one and didn't ever feel like I had to impress anyone or even just being on your own and making decisions for your self. It was definitely a time where I could say I found my true identity because for once I wasn't focused or distracted on anyone else but me. I lived on my own, which gave me a taste of the real world and most importantly helped me make decisions that would be good for me and no one else. It was what Charlie wanted to eat that day, and what stores Charlie wanted to shop at, it felt good to act like an adult!
As selfish as it sounds, this trip was really all about me.... but in a good way of course. I figured out my interests, how I like to fill my free time, and what I actually want to do with my life. It was when I got back to Orange County when I actually realized how awesome that trip really was and how much it truly did change me. Everyone noticed a different, mature girl standing before them when I came home. And of course only I could really relive these memories that I had, but that didn't stop me from sharing all the amazing times.. That is why I recommend to everyone that you should study abroad, where ever it may be, because it was a time where I learned who I truly am and that is something that I will remember forever.
After thinking about it for a long time, I chose to study abroad at Oxford University in England. I had only be to London once before when I was a little girl and I will never forget standing in the middle of a giant park telling myself " I am going to live here one day". And for some reason when I was staring at the list of options that I had, that memory came back to me so clear and I said to my mom "I'm going to England".
When It came time, I remember walking through the airport, lost and confused, searching for signs and directions that would make sense to me. It was the first 30 minutes of being there and I was already so nervous and scared! I realized right then that I couldn't just reach for my phone and dial my mom for that comforting voice on the other end, and that I was left there alone to figure out everything by myself. After being there for a while, I didn't have many friends and I had no idea where I was going half the time, but the thing is.. I didn't mind it at all. You get used to being by yourself and handling things on your own, and its a tough habit to break, but it actually felt good to not have to lean on anyone else but to yet trust your own self.
It was different in High school. Always having the feeling where you had a friend to walk you to class or always having a plan on a Friday night. But the thing is, it finally felt okay to be alone there. And I think it was because I was in a different country where I knew no one and didn't ever feel like I had to impress anyone or even just being on your own and making decisions for your self. It was definitely a time where I could say I found my true identity because for once I wasn't focused or distracted on anyone else but me. I lived on my own, which gave me a taste of the real world and most importantly helped me make decisions that would be good for me and no one else. It was what Charlie wanted to eat that day, and what stores Charlie wanted to shop at, it felt good to act like an adult!
As selfish as it sounds, this trip was really all about me.... but in a good way of course. I figured out my interests, how I like to fill my free time, and what I actually want to do with my life. It was when I got back to Orange County when I actually realized how awesome that trip really was and how much it truly did change me. Everyone noticed a different, mature girl standing before them when I came home. And of course only I could really relive these memories that I had, but that didn't stop me from sharing all the amazing times.. That is why I recommend to everyone that you should study abroad, where ever it may be, because it was a time where I learned who I truly am and that is something that I will remember forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)